Redneck or Rube: differing branches of the same tree


By Dr. E. Dwight Malone



As Dr. Montgomery Phalange explained recently in his Kentucky Press article, "American Rubes: A brief history, a present danger", a "rube" is defined as an unsophisticated country person. Dr. Phalange then traces the origins of American rubery to paint a vivid portrait of the organization and assimilation of the Americo-Rube into mainstream American culture, albeit skipping over several defining moments in Rubish history, such as the Anglo-Rube's bribery onto merchant ships leaving Britain in the 1700s, their rallying catcalls of "Sounds like a Quaker to me" from the backs of public houses during the American Revolution, their self-published ragsheets and the rise of the Rubish press and, glaringly missing from his article, the nascent political organization of Americo-Rubes following the Pikeville Moonshine Riots of 1850, 1851, 1853, again in 1853, and 1854.



While I remain a follower of Dr. Phalange's research, such as his ongoing study of the long-sought and oft-miscalculated fry-to-ass ratio, I am only left to speculate as to why he traced the history of the Americo-Rube and failed to make the distinction between the redneck and rube. Shame on you, Dr. Phalange. Shame on you! When the Dixie Chicks have come out against your research, you know it's bad.



To be fair, in today's political climate, one encumbered by sycophantic patriotism, Dr. Phalange perhaps felt the intimidation of his peers or publisher to not mention the rising tide of redneckery. Privately, however, I can only assume Dr. Phalange's omission stems from a deep antipathy toward rednecks, a misunderstanding of their culture and history and a propensity to lump them together with rubes. Sure, I speculate about his motives, but I have heard specifically of a conversation in the halls just before his keynote speech at the American Scientific Society's conference last October in which he complained of the "redneck menace". Were he to make such comments before the whole of the ASS delegates, we, of course, would not be seeing the name Dr. Montgomery Phalange in print today.



I respectfully disagree with Dr. Phalange's characterization of rednecks. While the American redneck has made a name for himself, his infiltration of our culture begins and ends with his fashion and pastimes. He is not sentient; therefore, he has no actual malice. Compare him, if you will, to the lowland gorilla of Africa. He's big, he's bold, he looks threatening, but he's harmless. He has no ambitions, never strays too far from home. He makes us laugh. And as with gorillas, some scientists have managed to learn the language of the American redneck and have found that, at heart, they're quite peaceful, jovial creatures.



The distinction Dr. Phalange fails to make is that all rubes are rednecks, but not all rednecks are rubes. And this is a very important distinction to make. If I can continue with my gorilla comparison, the divergence of the rube from the ground of redneckery is much akin to Cro-Magnon man's evolution from Neanderthal man, both from the australopithecus and the australopithecus from the lowland gorilla. Like the rube to the redneck, man and the gorilla are both hominids, but they are certainly not the same creature.



While Dr. Phalange pays lip service to some of America's highest profile rubes, notably John Wilkes Boothe, General Custer and Brian P. Yates, his failure to cite the evolution and secession of the rube from the redneck family is a shocking omission that hints at either a failure to comprehend the full scope of the rubery at the heart of American culture, or at a passionate, personal distaste - and perhaps again a misunderstanding - of the life of the American redneck. Such misrepresentation is not only dangerous but an insult to the American redneck's good name, be it Daisy, Cooter or George.



It is this doctor's opinion that to accurately understand and prophesy the present dangers of American rubery, it is essential to know when, where and for what reason the Americo-Rube diverged from his ancestral American redneck clan. I, for one, don't profess to knowing or even having the research, but perhaps the good Dr. Phalange can enlighten us.



Dr. E. Dwight Malone is professor emeritus of redneck studies at Henderson University in Hot Coffee, Mississippi, and the author of the best-selling Next of Kin: 1,001 Mississippian Nights.